i will never forget springtime last year listening to my sobbing 8 year old (at the time) realize that she didn't make rep soccer. the hard reality had sunken in, she didn't work hard enough or want it bad enough. she expected it to be well, easy. and it wasn't.
this moment on her bed, for her and me, was that moment, a life moment!
mommy & daddy couldn't fix this, or "clean it up" for her....neither could she.
for a lack of better words she shit the bed. and now she sat in her tears while four of her favourite players were moving on from her team to play a more advanced and skilled game of soccer with another team.
she would be left behind.
she would NOT just be bumped up because it's the "right thing to do", she wouldn't "pitch a fit" and "get her way" or have her daddy talk to the higher ups to "get her on the team".
THIS IS REALITY KID. AS IT SHOULD BE.
i listened, and cuddled, and empathized her lost which for an 8 year old was EPIC.
then, i got real with her...
i threw the ball back in her court and had her take a hard look at her past seasons performance (which was substandard to make rep soccer for sure. she had gotten lazy. she was good enough but she got lazy, lost the drive, yet she loved soccer!).
I asked her this...
"what did you do to make your performance better than all the other girls (other then play your required soccer game and one practice a week)"?
"do you think you deserved it more than the others that played and practiced on their own time"?
"Did you take the suggestions and advice that both your parents and coach's gave you to help advance your game"?
teaching through life lessons has been a model we've used when those lessons have presented themselves. This one gave hubby and I an opportunity to talk about our careers and if you truly love what you do and want to be good at it...the minimums will NOT be enough to be successful, to make a living from it, to get ahead (kinda the same as her and rep soccer).
it's hard to know if anything ever sticks in their preteen brains but we told her we loved her with or without soccer (i think she needed to hear that). but if YOU REALLY WANT THIS (to be in rep that is,) we would do whatever we could do to get her there as long as she was willing to work for it!
one year later, she made the rep team. the year wasn't easy for many reasons. but she made it!
I'M very proud of her. WE are proud of her. SHE is proud of her (lol)
this past weekend was a four game tournament weekend, in the PORING RAIN for two of those games. she worked hard with her new team, she has tasted success.
perhaps she will want seconds!
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