amara: "momma, come in to my class and look at my work"!
this was the greeting i received after school pick up.
Me: "sure baby, i'd love to"
she's in grade one and "YES DARLING, your letter printing is top shelf, i can see the B D mix up has corrected itself, way to go"!
can we move on to momma's favorite the ART BOOK, (sigh...oh I love the art book part)! she knows it too, holds that fucker hostage till we got through all the OTHER learning books which includes math and what i believe was science...not certain!? i have the concentration of a squirrel, any amount of time over 5 minutes and you've lost me...till we hit the her ART BOOK!
it does not disappoint! she's got pics of sophie in there and some wicked grade one style landscapes...all so divine. then i spot THIS gem, ok i must be a sick person because my first glance has me howling internally and also slightly concerned that child services are coming to "check out our home environment" with this Picasso crayon /pencil masterpiece.
so this is what I see in the picture...
a girl ( perhaps a transvestite) with a large penis "hopefully" peeing (and NOT something else) jumping for joy (one leg behind her and the other is on the ground) with what appears to be penis arm transplants or "she/he" have packed dildos in their my pockets (very large scale dildos). her friend also has penis arm transplants or has sewn dildos onto her dress, not sure which one is which...oh and a chair in a field!
all of this is concerning and fucking hysterical!
ok don't laugh or freak out dina...ask her first don't assume.
or i could do as my portuguese mother always instructs me to do when i have something to say to my mother inlaw (sorry barb) "boca colada" (which means shut your mouth in portuguese).
nope can't do that.
me: "amara, tell me about this drawing" .
(i've pulled the phone out to take a picture, with sharp grunting breaths to hold back the roar of laughter i want to let out. oh good lord, this picture is getting funnier by the second. maybe it's the hearts in the black hair that match the tip of the penis...great attention to detail has been placed here people!)
amara's teacher is still in the room and she's NOT helping me at all to keep it together
teacher: "isn't their art amazing" (with a reaffirming head shake)
(that's it, howling. i can't stop)
amara: " momma, this is me and you"
me: "interesting". "what i'm i wearing amara"?
amara: "your sitting on a brown chair at the hair dresser's wearing red tights and pink high heels"
me: "well of course i am and don't i look amazing!"
omg, i love kids art and i'm an asshole.
check out Dina's Life unscripted photography below...