the time has come for you to meet the europeans...

who are they:  my parents! what are they : portuguese....HARD CORE PORTUGUESE.

do they have accents?: holy crap dad's not so bad but mom's is hilarious. i can't NOT do an accent when i repeat the things my mom says to me.  it's like trying to imitate ozzy osbourne and not doing his slurred speech.

how was it growing up with european parents: well how would you like it if your mother asked your friends and boyfriends "yuuu balive in God?" (you believe in GOD?) every time they came by the house? ok, to their defence we are catholic and it was rather important in our up bringing, but man...not cool.

is your mother a good cook: wow....have you seen pictures of me as a child? (plump is a word that comes to mind).  bread made by hand, 8 to 10 loaves at a time (still does to this day as a matter of fact!). we ate soup before every meal. when seinfeld came out with the soup nazi skit i was like "mom, it's you but in a mans body" (she didn't like that comment!)

laugh away people, laugh away!

so try asking my mom how she makes a certain dish...her response is "oh daaana, yuu put aaa litttle uf dis aaa little uf dat" (oh dina, you put a little of this and a little of that)...the women has NO RECIPES!  it's all off the top of her head.  seriously...i need to read how to make instant oatmeal? so YES, her cooking is out of this world.

when you say "Hardcore Portuguese" what do you mean: my pops is a fisherman (not by trade but for fun) and i can't complain because i always have a fridge full of "sea goodies".  if my dad see's it, he can make it! (why buy something when you can make it...he loves a good challenge).  both of them have a ridiculous work ethic and strong wills that never let life get them down.  my mom was recycling before it was en vogue and they live from their garden as much as possible, or as it's coined now "eating clean".  in my mom's words "eet maka mee siick whhat da puut inn da fuud" (it makes me sick what they put in the food).  that's my mom's blanket statement she uses for all restaurants, boxed or packaged food. my mom is so clean that if you challenged me to eat a meal off her floor would lose! that's just a few things...the list goes on and on!

best part about your parents: for sure their UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, KIND SOULS and THEY WOULDN'T HESITATE  TO DO ANYTHING TO HELP ME are on the top of the list...but seriously it's their crazy european comments on how "things should be" that slays me (and my sister in law) to no end .

i was telling my mom how "miss amara eden" put a plastic toy figurine in the baseboard heater almost causing a fire, and so i shut the heat down in their rooms (for fear of "miss amara eden" repeating the process). my mom lost it "danna, yuu grazy urr whaat! dez gurls willl die in da night!" (dina, you crazy or what! these girls will die in the night) . i ask, “from what?” mom says, "da collld" (the cold).  ok, mom (because we don't have any other heaters blaring in the house...maybe if we lived in a flippen tent outside i would nod in some form of agreement) that's a little far fetched, but i was laughing so hard i couldn't hold the conversation!

final words: i wouldn't have changed a thing about my upbringing or my parents! everything we experience in our lives makes us who we are today…and well, i like who i am, what i've become and i love those crazy europeans!

world wide web, i'd like you to meet tony and manuela...