"Nobody puts baby in a corner"| Klutch Photography | Vancouver family Photographer

These past two weeks have been an emotional out of my control rollercoaster.  The anniversary of Sophie's death is approaching and it seems to creep up on you just like Christmas does...quickly and making you feel unprepared for the event. You think you're all good but really YOUR NOT!  You find your self-crying in your car for no other reason than a flood of sadness has overcome you. The annual local windstorms set your emotions on its own tsunami storm of memories, remembering when the power went off four years earlier only to hear about your daughters best friend dying from meningitis days later. 

 This was the platform for my month. Topped with being pushed into an oversized vehicle purchase that I never wanted in the first place but was forced to buy in order to get our boat back into the interior for the summer.  Then having to deal with family issues (not mine) but his and it affects all aspects of my children and husbands happy place.  

I've been truly feeling out of control emotionally, the later two are certainly first world problems really but none the less, this is what I know and it was foreign to me. Being forced to deal when I don't want to deal or manage it or confront it!

I'm done. I wanted my power back, some power, some control.

My hair has been long for 8+ years. It's an attachment problem more then it should be but I think that stems from childhood and my Portuguese upbringing where girls had long hair. I cut it off at 25 and it was such an amazing feeling to say FUCK YOU HAIR and all that you stand for...hertitage expectations, femininity, fitting into the norm. Cutting the hair off at 25 was cleansing to say the least.

Today I called my hairdresser and by the universes grace, she had a cancellation at 3 pm. I took the spot and when I arrived I said: "cut it off". It's time to take control back. No one own's me, no one controls me and to this, I cut my hair off and it feels so good.

 It's fucking hair, It grows back whenever I want but today it stands for me taking back the emotions I can't control, today cutting my hair is me saying FUCK YOU ALL. I may not be able to control outcomes but I can control how I look and feel. I own me. I will always own ME!

This is one small step to making sure that  "nobody puts baby in a corner", EVER.  Lol, I love that line from dirty dancing!  I'm in love with my hair cut and it may last or it may not. Either way, I win today and that is all that matters.

Check out Bonnie at Crush Hair Co., She's been my hairdresser since 2005!  

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A first for everything | Klutch Photography | Vancouver family photographer

I bought this underwater casing for my Canon 5D mark 11 in July of this year to push my skill set (and apparently to push my fear level as well because I'm the shitest swimmer alive!).  I was nudged to check this brand and style out by a friend and it falls in the middle of the road for pricing, so not cheap and not a "million dollar bills ya'll" either. 

This past week was the first time I got to really test drive it in Mexico (the pool only as the ocean was rough and full of coral, I can't even imagine what a gong show that would have turned into if I even attempted it) 

The learning curve is so/so, if I wasn't so fucking awkward in the water It may have gone smoother or if I wasn't so concerned about looking like a raccoon (because I had my eyebrows on and my mascara on and my eyeliner on.  People don't judge, when your over 40 and you plucked the shit out of your eyebrows in the 90's because thin eyebrows were the style you would understand! it's a fucking slippery slope, you can't have eyebrows on and not have your eye's on...it just doesn't work!). Anyways, I slapped on some goggles, which also are awkward and make you look redic but it's all for a good shot right?! Luckily the pool was not over my head or else I would have had to use a snorkel and my make shift buoyancy belt made from a water noodle and an old strap from a bag (total MacGyver move) - hahahah, that would have been a sight!

I'm glad I finally got to break it in and the results are interesting. Well kids always make everything more interesting in my opinion. I love the "different world look" the underwater images have, there's a a first for everything and I'm pretty sure there will be a second! If I drown in the next year you know what happened!

Here's the underwater gear company link (Outex) btw-

http://www.outex.com/

A real vision!  Here's my underwater selfie, lol! In looking at this image now I'm pretty sure I had my goggles on upside down. That would explain how uncomfortable they were.

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Journal Entry No.36 | Klutch Photography |Vancouver family photography

The kids are getting so much bigger and more mature (well not really but they seem to think so!). They didn't need their dad to go house to house with them on Halloween night and ...IT WAS THE BEST TIME EVER!, Their words, not mine.

I got to hand out candy to such cutties pies I had sore cheeks from smiling! I also loved seeing all the teens in costume, using their manners, fetching candy and being kids!!

I hope you all had a wonderful and safe Halloween night, now remember calories only count if you add them up...so sneak into those goodies bags parents and make a wrapper pile!  It's time for sweet revenge. Hale the coffee crisps.

#lifeunscripted

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