Okay, guys let starts out with the most obvious, The Bermuda Triangle. I would be lying to you if I didn't say that I was fearful on that last 40 minutes of the flight landing into Bermuda (I may or may not have prayed a little. I may or may not have sent an I love you text to my children?!) When we landed, I felt a little embarrassed, but oh well, that's the story of my life folks. Note to yourself that most planes will not get sucked into the hyped up notion of a magical triangle in the middle of fucking know where just saying. But you will might do that same thing I did because your human and you could help but watch that Bermuda triangle doc…even tho you knew better. lol!
Now that we cleared up that folklore, here's the lowdown on Bermuda!
Transportation
They drive on the other side of the road.
This shit will fuck with you the whole trip, why? Cus they don't have sidewalks, you spend most of your walking time thinking about what side you need to be on and dodging the cars. I’m not joking either.
It's lush, like a jungle lush, which means-rain! It just starts to rain on the fly and aggressively but usually stops within a few minutes (the only plus is that it's warm). If you're exploring the island a light raincoat might be a great option.
Which brings me to how you get around on the island! You can not rent a car, period. You can, however, get around by the water ferries, public transit or cabs (which are CRAZY expensive, the cabs I mean). The only things you can rent is bikes, scooters and a twizzy (this is a two person, front to back mini coffin)! K, it's not, but when you’re the person stuck in the back (which I was) it sure feels like an upright coffin. So we opted to rent the twizzy cuz I would have crashed that stupid scooter for sure! Not only had I never driven a scooter in my life, but you also add the fact that you're on the other side of the road and your like “Ok Greg, that sounds like a great idea” NOT! Fuck worrying about the Bermuda Triangle, this is where you will get messed up bitch, like road rash, break a leg, cry to your mamma kinda shit. I'm out! After, a few hairy roundabouts with the twizzy we (or I should I say he) had the hang of it! Also, the speed limit is between 30-40 Mph, so that takes the fear down a few drinks! When you rent the twizzy, you can download their app which guides you to all the touristy location hot spots and any charging stations near them. Yep, this is an electric vehicle, kinda cool right…no gas fill-ups needed! The island from tip to tip takes about an hour to drive, and the car can make it one way no problem!
Beaches
BEAUTIFUL. PERIOD. We visited the island at the end of May, so it was "warmer" but let me be clear...this is not Caribbean water kids. If you're a "fair weather" water dipper like me, it was a little cold BUT most found it just fine! The sand is some of the best I've ever touched my chubby missing a picky toenail on feet. Soft, pink and overall so clean. If you're into exploring, pack some water shoes so you can explore the shoreline with comfort as you might have to cross over some large rocks. And let's not forget the most insane part, the colour of the water- turquoise blue! Again, I've been a few places and have yet to see water this colour, such eye candy!
We also rented a pontoon boat for six hours with a few friends on one of the days, and that was THE. BEST. DAY. EVER. I would highly recommend doing this if you have someone with a boaters licence and they drive like a boss. The wind can make it a tad shower like at times with the waves so I would recommend packing some tequila for body salt shots (kidding(). Waterproof bags are highly recommended (to keep your clothing, towels, camera and cell phones dry) OR just pack a few garbage bags with you that can sinch up.
This is a great way to explore a good chuck on the island at your pace, while drinking (if you want), and snacking in a swimsuit. Oh yeah, bring your portable speaker, that will elevate your chill experience by 50% to 70%
We stopped and anchored at the cliff jumping, it's a must do!! I'm a terrible swimmer, but with the noodles (which they provide on most boats), it made it super easy to access the cliffs and feel safe. We stopped at the abandoned hotel shoreline and swam with turtles. Umm, can you see how this is quickly becoming the BEST DAY EVER! I got to check out the abandoned bungalow’s as that’s totally my jam, but that's not for everyone!
The next stop was one of the shipwrecks and feeding the local fish, which literally follow your boat until it stops. BTW- if you want to mess with your friends, get them in the water and start throwing bread buns in. OMG, I haven't laughed like that for a long time. PRICELESS moment, fish jumping, people screaming, us on the boat dying of laughter! So snorkel gear is an excellent option to bring for sure. Unless you want to book a snorkel excursion, in that case the gear is provided. Which we did, and they took us the two shipwrecks (The western blue cut) that are beside one another. The water was a little choppy out there but again, noodles to the rescue!
Hamilton
Tuesday nights, they host a street fair in the heart of Hamilton. You can shop locally, listen and watch the local performers and eat authentic Portuguese doughnuts (melasudas) and many other tasty treats. The doughnuts are on point, as my mom makes them at home in Victoria, lucky me right so definitely a must try! You can also drink on the street, well kind of, you have to wrap your beverage up with a brown paper bag. Hopefully this is the closest thing to being homeless, and on the streets, you will ever experience.
The Swizzle Inn
K, understand that this place is the GROSSEST PLACE EVER. It's sticky AF, and I don't think it's been wiped down since opening day (I'm not making this shit up). With that being said, go see it and have a drink! "The swizzle" is the local Bermudian beverage of choice. Another “K” is about to happen here people…K, the Swizzle is basically a rum punch people (spoiler)! So if you're not into those, which I'm not...do a DARK AND STORMY! WAY,WAY better and they use their local dark rum and their bottled ginger beer, which is daa BEST!!
Regional Park
This has The Blue Lake, which is not a lake as there are no natural bodies of water on the island. It's a tidal pool that you can snorkel in and you can jump a small cliff. This had better fish to view them both ocean trips we were on, not kidding! Bring a mask, it’s epic. We also meet a few really drunk, fellow Canadians working in Bermuda at (the airport) and they insisted on showing us the unmarked underwater cave. This is how people get murdered is what all of us were thinking, lol. Kinda not joking. But these guys were pure wave flagging Canuks and wanted to show us no harm but just be helpful! I did have an attack planned in my head tho, cuz this girl has had way too many #metoo things happen in my life not think of an exit strategy! After a 15 minute treck into the woods (to grandmas house, sorry, couldn’t help it) we got there. It was dark and fantastic!! I have one pick of Greg swimming in it. I, however, did not. BURR. So this park is worth a visit.
St. George's Town
This is part of the island that has the most old world character in my opinion. Lots of places to eat, walk and shops to check out. The unfinished church is pretty cool too. Try their local fish whahoo, I know someone who mistook it for chicken, that's how dense it is!
Dockyard in Kings Wharf
Tourist trap, but if that's what you're into and want to buy a bunch of stuff you will never use again, go for it! The only reason to go there is to purchase the islands famous rum cake made by The Bermuda Rum Cake Company. Get the coconut, my personal fav, but there are so many flavours to choose from. You can sample the flavours before you commit to the purchase (Umm I'm sorry, but I can't decide, can I try them all again! lol!) The only other reason it to catch some history at The Bermuda National Museum but that's it! Going elbow to elbow with all the cruise ship folk. No thanks.
Overall
Bermuda felt so safe, the people were kind, and it's an eye candy looking island with great character! The vibe is chill, and the drinks are on point. It's not cheap to stay there, as it's an island and everything(well almost everything) is imported. The interesting part about Bermuda is that tourism is not the primary sources of "income", it's the international business! So it’s not a poor island at all.
Would I go back, yeah, I think so, but not for a while as there's a BIG world to explore and I don't want to do any repeats till I've tackled a few more countries!!
