we walk in, i spot the teacher…she's in her 20's (if that), she has a sickly sweet welcome (you know that over the top honey kind, the one that lets you know she's terrified and will not have any control over these little girls) and with that i can tell miss amara eden is going to eat her alive (little did i know they all would)!
so in review of this "class" i have prepared a "what not to ask or do with four year old girls in any structured class"
first never ask kids under four "if anyone NEEDS to go to the washrooms" because most girls would like to go for a walk with their "new girlfriends" and check if the "decor in the stall" has changed since they were there this morning when mom went for a work out!
(all five girls are taken to the washroom by the teacher 10 minutes elapse)
NEVER ask girls if they have any questions (for all of us out there that have girls, girls enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices) enough said.
(5 minutes elapse)
please don't ask kids if they're "thirsty" when all they have done is "touched their toes in warm up". all the girls hit up the water fountain or their water bottles.
(5 minutes elapse)
if you play "familiar music" such as "funky town", from SHREK. the girls without fail will stop in their awkward ballet trot, point at the ceiling and begin to jump in the air...shrieking. they will then let YOU KNOW how THEY KNOW this song and if you try not to listen/answer to there "how they know this song plea's" the behaviour will continue it for the duration of the song.
(5 minutes elapse)
listen up, this ones key…NEVER, EVER NEGOTIATE!!
CHILD = "i want to see my dad"
teacher= "if you go into first position you can see your dad"
crack found, they all leave to "visit" with their parents!
(5 minutes elapse)
so after attendance and a "warm up" the girls did ballet for a whopping, wait for it… 5 minutes straight!!
this is no longer about seeing if my child likes dance or whether she has ANY natural ability, this 45 minute class is about pure comedic indulgence FOR ME. i'm going to hell 4 sure.
FOUR YEAR OLDS 1
TEACHER 0
