this is my circus and these are my monkey's | Klutch Photography | Vancouver family photographer

TIME.

that's my word for 2015 . so today was spending quality TIME with the monkey's in my personal circus.  i stopped and baked with them. fuck i hate baking, so fucking messy. but how can anyone resist those faces all toothless and shit and the other bug eyed. i can't, so one wanted to make biscuits and the other wanted to make some sugary filled cake.

 i did ask them if they wanted to make the soup instead.   crickets, all i got was crickets.

ok, baking it is.  fawk, get the whole wheat flour!

amara keeps sneaking the biscuit  batter, so much so...she can't speak. (yaa, see...this is another reason why i don't bake) STOP. EATING. THE. BATTER. AMARA.  that amount will make you sick.

she nods (because her mouth is full).

the rest is pretty much smooth sailing, it was a mess but the they got mom time along with sugar and butter their two favorite thing's that MOM (otherwise known as that crazy bitch that holds back all the tasty things in my childhood because of her concern of cancer and proper nutrition) tries to NOT give us.  i feel like the monkeys got their bananas and i'm being a motherfucking sorcerer (yes, this is always the winning card in "cards against humanity") for allowing them to bake this crap and we all fell connected. win/win. 

now TIME to give myself a drink, as i clean the butter off of everything. 

mmmm, overly man handed, full of (not properly washed) park hand germ biscuits...divine! butter does make everything taste better!

 

 

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363 days | Klutch Photography | family photographer

everyday you drift into my thoughts, so far it's been 363 times, tomorrow it will be 364 and the day after it will be a year. 

you are always there... like clouds in the sky, wind through a window, a smell of coffee in the air, an image you pass everyday. always there. always.

you linger in me. somedays i smile at your memory, some days i shake my head (did this really happen and in the why's of it all), somedays i live in the guilt of having my little girl here beside me while you are no longer able to be and other days i linger in the space of your mother and her reality of never being able to smell you and love you with her touch... those days are the worst.

sometimes i speak to you, out loud.  "i know your here, watching over us...sending us butterfly's"

the everyday thoughts build up in me like a stacking of cards from a deck, eventually the cards will crumble. i rebuild. then repeat the process.

when you passed, you gently and lovingly stole little pieces of everyone's hearts, to be honest you already had a piece of mine.  the whole will never fully heal, only enough to keep us moving forward. slowly.

the moment you left us sophie, you became our teacher.  and i (along with many others) have learned in these 363 days to live (more so) in the now and that tomorrow is a gift and to be unbelievably grateful for it.  

this week i (and all of us) relive the days leading up THAT moment, the reality of what all of our lives would be from that email on.  i hate THIS, i hate how it makes me feel, i hate thinking about your family right at this very second and what they are living through this week.  i just hate it that i can't take your mom's pain away. i hate that i can't take amara's pain away.  

BUT on day 365 i will walk with your family and village, together united, bring light in where there is darkness, honour your day one with love, memories and sorrow.  and maybe just maybe HATE a little less going forward.




elf on the shelf is cray, cray but really so i'm! | klutch photography | Surrey family photography

Ya guess what i am that crazy mom, you know the one that makes you feel like ass for just moving your elf in another corner of the room.  yep, that's me.  here's the thing, this has nothing to do with making anyone feel bad and it has everything to do with fuelling my creative soul over the holidays!  AND extending the magic of christmas for my children!  

 

and no i'm not blowing smoke up your chimney (ha,ha couldn't help using that one, with it being christmas and all).  sadly kids only "believe" in the magic for so long and for me to watch their faces every morning to the complete cray, cray of the elf  (or elves) is a total joy, almost better then xmas morning...seriously!  

it's worth the late nights, anxiety and stress of them waking up to me conjuring up a elly the elf scene

this will be our forth year and lord only knows what will happen but every year someone or something joins elly in her "helpful adventures".   i have had to pass torches on to grandparents and leave the evening up to dad a few times (can't lie the up to dad part is worrisome), while taking off shopping in the states (grandma rock's the elf just fine btw)!

my elf elly is on the girls side 90% of the time and on mine 10% of the time. i play the role of disliking the elf because of her love for the girls (and her being so messy!), i have threatened to return her almost every year, back to santa that is. it's high stakes drama and the kids look forward to it, actually BEG me to have her back.  

none of this is by the book but nor am i.  

my elf came from an old spanish 70's doll that i found in the thrift shop because the real ones were sold out.  i did acquire a real one for dirt cheap at the end of one season and decided it should join in as an elf in training the following year. last year i found a bigger version of elly (again a spanish doll), she too will be participating this year.   perhaps i might need an elf intervention (and a leather purse intervention while we are at it)!

the images below are not in order but i have been doing this for five years!   i hope something about them inspires you to start your own family tradition, in your own way. because you want to... not because you should!

 

here's a elf on the shelf community fb page if you want to watch elly &co's adventures this tear and participate with posts!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Elf-on-the-shelf/297944363571390