SURPRISE (part two, we hit the town)

(parents holiday continued)

we settle in and it's time to hit wet willies (now personally, any place where the name of the restaurant is a "wet finger in your ear" i could do with out but it's been recommended by the locals).  the concept, adult slurpee's served in paper cups (small, medium and large) with lots of grain alcohol in it (grain alcohol?, what's that?). well it's illegal to start with (ok that's a little dramatic, more like it's not sold in canada) and it's 153 proof!  the place is packed with kids, and the first waitress is really fond of her job serving fountain drinks, clearly by her kind and thoughtful demeanour (not)! none the less i ask her "what i should i get", a one word answer comes from her month "superman".  moments later (literally 5 seconds) because it comes out of a slurpee machine i have a convenience store paper cup with a straw and a mighty tasty drink going down the hatch.  "the. mr" was kind, he tried to worn me (d, slow down. that drink will put you on your a**).  i'm prone to brain freezes so after four in a row, i realized this mamma needs to slow down (which was my only saving grace from not getting a notorious piggy back ride home from "the mr.").

we both concur that me eating a salad  for lunch was a weak option in miami (again this term salad is  being used loosely because i ate from the same hotel restaurant and well i'm pretty sure chef ramsie wouldn't consider "shred" used for burgers a salad) you need hard core carbs to keep the grain alcohol at bay.  so we sit down to get some chow, which wet willies provides.   best meal to date in miami, which at this point is not a hard title to earn BUT it was actually really tasty (shrimp taco's).

i'm three fingers in and i'm cackling with laughter, making new friends and "the mr." is shaking his head.  i'm two sheets to the wind because my normally not funny (to me) hubby is a freak'n comedy act right now. the canadians are busting guts over here.

we meet a few locals, one of which was a lovely girl named "diamond" (that's her middle name BTW), "the mr." then asks by any chance is your full name "Rainbow Diamond" (for all of you who know miss amara eden, this got me to spit my drink out).

jail is a common after work activity here in miami, people talk about it like it's no big deal (surprise)...we never asked what they were in for, good call i think, we wouldn't want to judge!

the meal is devoured and it's time to drunk shop in walgreens for some rations and facetime with my girls. awkward.

HOLY CRAP THURSDAY'S

holy crap, it could be the bud light lime talking but doesn't this guys head look really small compared to his massive body?  don't mind the speedo, this is how they roll in miami!  viva miami.

SURPRISE! (part one the journey)

it's been five years since "the mr." and i have gone away by ourselves (and by ourselves i mean no children for longer then a 48 hour period or a vegas conference!)…it was suppose to be cabo to celebrate a friends 35th birthday but plans changed and "the Mr." had to plot another adventure for us instead.  I've never been the trip organizer in our family, i just don't give a s*** as long as it's warm and i can drink!  so a week goes by and he enters  my office and announces "miami and a three day Bahama cruise" grumble, grumble and leaves, i "the mrs"  is pleased. I'm so uninvolved in the planning process that if we got parted on the way to the airport i would literally not know what airline i'm traveling on, when or where we are staying…lol.  it's kind of my sick special SURPRISE vacation, perhaps stupidly dangerous as well, whatever it always works out.

so with minimal guilt i leave my monkeys with the in laws (thank you B and K) i supplied them with a fridge full of chicken & veg, large bottle of advil and a grocery list of  "what the hell the girls are doing this week" we hit the road!  to be honest the girls were like see ya, with no tears or drama (not sure if thats a good or bad thing, no matter, i'm free at last).

rumour has it were traveling to seattle first in "the mr.'s" new ride (which i thought he was going to get a hot little two door, nope, freak'n same car in a newer model! really? why bother).  we make it with only an hour to spare if that and all goes smoothy in catching our "red eye" flight (BOO by the way but again when your not the planner, SURPRISE!). being small SUCKS because I go middle seat, here's the reality i feel bad for the dude beside me for two reasons first i sleep with my mouth wide open (pretty sight) and two i fart (enough said).

part two down, we hit Miami at 7 am which is 4am our time…check in is at 4 pm (SURPRISE).  breakfast it is.  we hit up the hotels restaurant and well i clearly have been watching to many "kitchen nightmares episodes" because this meal (which sort of sounded good at the time) was a disaster fit for Chef Ramsey fork pick a part and his commentary of disgust. i eat the eggs and few well thought through bites, breakfast is complete.

well, we have a day (7 hours) to kill  before we check in and we have our third child with us (my camera bag), my new mac book pro and "the mr.'s"  iPad to babysit.  pool side it is.  we slumber in the heat for hours, that lazy slobbered summer sleep that makes you feel hungover with out having a drink kind of sleep!  personally i enjoy having towel marks on my face and body, why you ask because it means i had NO CHILDREN to interrupt me (i wear them with pride around the pool to fetch a pinacolada)!  I'm not going to lie i spot a cute little muffin at 6 o'clock, i'm trying not to engage eye contact…dam it, to late.  my mind now wonders to how this little sausage reminds me of amara.  i have my mommy moment**sigh** and I'm back to my  inappropriate behaviour in a place where no body knows me. hooray!

i love people watching, thinking and trying to figure out where people are from, why they would get THAT tatoo of cookie monster on their hip and from a distance looks like a large birthmark.  my favourite poolside pastime is listening to other peoples conversations…BEST THING EVER.  who needs cable, seriously.  as a mom i so get this conversation i overheard "so guys, when moms on "vacation" (she is totally using this term loosely. we are never on real vacation with little kids) and you start to NOT listen, mommy starts to get mad, really mad..this is MY VACATION TOO".  lol, i'm pretty sure i've said that myself on vaca!

well 4pm has arrived, the suite rocks.  now the real fun begins...