why do they have 8-year-olds cooking on tv? why lord, why!? these frick'n cooking prodigies are totally fucking with my spotless kitchen because in just one simple episode of master chef junior my kids now think they too are MASTER chefs.
no you're not...but you're both master mess makers and if there was a show for this you could win!
i'm all for it, being young and amazing at something! working hard and making mistakes but why dear lord do they need to MASTER a craft in MY kitchen. i'm not a baker, i've said it MANY times, i suck at it and to be quite frank...i think i suck on purpose because baking is messy.
flour reminds me of my horrific laundry machine flood of 2009. the sensor went on my machine resulting in a flooded main level. i moved out with the girls for three weeks while the entire main level hardwood floors got replaced. on a weekday surprise visit to my house, i found out the restoration guys had been cutting all the flooring INSIDE of my home the entire time! every crack of my home was covered in dust! for months i was cleaning dust, ultra fine dust, white dust which shockingly resembles FLOUR.
anytime i use flour, it seems to trigger my post-traumatic stress disorder from that event...wiping counters, shelves, knickknacks and floors OVER and OVER again for months! it's a total portuguese howie mandel moment...mess, dirt, messy dirty, can't cope - must clean...no baking!!
sorry, i regressed...
now your understanding why flour stresses me out, well the kids wanted to make homemade pasta because their just as good as those "other" kids on master chef and they might want to apply in the future. or so they mentioned. so i said yes because i'm not a complete asshole and it's not their fault that flour and i are in a fucked up relationship.
you will also be pleased to know that i didn't crush their dreams, even tho making a fried egg is about all my 11 year old can muster and amara needs help pouring milk on occasion into her cereal bowl! oh ya, no prob you two can compete with the kids making a full surf and turf meal with restaurant quality sides.
it was a mess and yes i documented it. at one point amara say's "you look stressed mom"! my response was "yes, i am. this is my kitchen nightmare"!
but they killed it! There were a few mistakes like using cold eggs and not shifting the flour (you know why) which was a all needed steps but it all worked out in the end and tasted amazing!
and gues what they're now one dish closer to applying to MCJ. wink, wink.
#lifeunscripted
#wildhood
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