Well that's not safe! | Klutch Photography | Vancouver family photography

Our trampoline is a mess right now, no paddling, no net and a little rusted...so basically it's looks like everyone's trampoline from the eighties!  When guests are coming over I actually text the parents letting them know the condition of the tramp and if they give me the thumbs up I at least have some form documentation just in case!

Yesterday the girls had a friend over and while they played I decided to go have a shower before our "girls night out" with my daughters to our favourite sushi place.  When I exited my bathroom and walked into my bedroom to cover my mom body,  I could hear screaming that was well... not quite the norm!  It had a shrill of "holy fuck' it.

When I looked out the window from the second floor there they were, on the death trap with one more layer of Evil Coneval they'd added...DISH SOAP, fluffy slippery DISH SOAP!!

Well that' not safe! I thought.

 I continued to get a well-needed support bra on and grab my camera. Document this moment first, deal with the situation second! So I said "welcome to the elevated 80's kids, don't break anything but if you do you can only blame yourselves!

Small risk, equals confidence (they all survived, Che' did get a kinked neck tho lol).

#wildhood

#80's

#lifeunscripted

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Master Chef Junior is ruining my kitchen | Klutch photography | Vancouver family photographer

why do they have 8-year-olds cooking on tv? why lord, why!? these frick'n cooking prodigies are totally fucking with my spotless kitchen because in just one simple episode of master chef junior my kids now think they too are MASTER chefs.

no you're not...but you're both master mess makers and if there was a show for this you could win!

i'm all for it, being young and amazing at something! working hard and making mistakes but why dear lord do they need to MASTER a craft in MY kitchen.  i'm not a baker, i've said it MANY times, i suck at it and to be quite frank...i think i suck on purpose because baking is messy.

flour reminds me of my horrific laundry machine flood of 2009. the sensor went on my machine resulting in a flooded main level. i moved out with the girls for three weeks while the entire main level hardwood floors got replaced. on a weekday surprise visit to my house, i found out the restoration guys had been cutting all the flooring INSIDE of my home the entire time! every crack of my home was covered in dust!  for months i was cleaning dust, ultra fine dust, white dust which shockingly resembles FLOUR. 

anytime i use flour, it seems to trigger my post-traumatic stress disorder from that event...wiping counters, shelves, knickknacks and floors OVER and OVER again for months! it's a total portuguese howie mandel moment...mess, dirt, messy dirty, can't cope - must clean...no baking!!                

sorry, i regressed...

now your understanding why flour stresses me out, well the kids wanted to make homemade pasta because their just as good as those "other" kids on master chef and they might want to apply in the future. or so they mentioned.  so i said yes because i'm not a complete asshole and it's not their fault that flour and i are in a fucked up relationship.

you will also be pleased to know that i didn't crush their dreams, even tho making a fried egg is about all my 11 year old can muster and amara needs help pouring milk on occasion into her cereal bowl! oh ya, no prob you two can compete with the kids making a full surf and turf meal with restaurant quality sides.  

it was a mess and yes i documented it. at one point amara say's "you look stressed mom"! my response was "yes, i am. this is my kitchen nightmare"!

but they killed it!  There were a few mistakes like using cold eggs and not shifting the flour (you know why) which was a all needed steps but it all worked out in the end and tasted amazing!

and gues what they're now one dish closer to applying to MCJ. wink, wink.

#lifeunscripted

#wildhood

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A Playland virgin no more | Klutch Photography |Vancouver family photographer

saturday's are prime photography shooting days but this saturday i had a shift in my schedule allowing my to have it off this weekend- that meant a family day! the hubby suggested PLAYLAND - i'm was in!!  i'm 41 (almost 42) and have never been there (oh the gasp and shock, i know right!) and after living in vancouver for more then 15 years i was due for my "cherry" to be popped.

kids were pumped, both of them came home early from their sleepovers to hit the road.  we were off. the car ride itself was like a roller coaster warm up as my husband drives like a fucking Italian race car driver causing all of us (at times) to have bouts of nausea and dizziness. once we parked i mentioned  "we can go home now, i've done all the rides i can handle...it's like playland before playland"!

he was not amused. ya, well try being your passenger greg!

playland was DEAD. it was awesome. there was almost no waits and all three of my children were beasts (my hubby is the third child by the way)!!  ride after ride.  fucking maniacs. i loved it because i got to stand back and document...everyone was happy!

now i did go on one ride, the wood roller coaster, i thought it would be OK.  After the ride was over che' summed it right up...

 "dad, mom was so embarrassing! she kept screaming bleep, bleep, bleep, bleeping hate you all, when is this bleeping ride over- the whole time"!!

it's save to say, i sounded like i had violent tourettes during that stupid, not strapped well in my opinion, sat in the very back, 50+ year old coaster. nope, no more coaster for me folks.

#lifeunscripted