1) if your kids hands smell funky, don't ask where they've been...just get them to wash them with soap. you really don't want to know!
2) if you have an object that your trying to close shut or put back together but it's "stuck", trust me when i say "STOP" (especially if the object doesn't belong to you). my "she-ra" strength and determination in the end always breaks the sucker right off.
3) when people show you who they really are (and by who they really are i mean selfish, unkind...liars) believe them the first time!
{as my european father would say : " a tiger never loses their stripes" that was said in a heavy portaglish accent...btw}
4) show elderly people the respect they've earned, not to mention you will hopefully be that old someday and need the front seat of the bus (so move your behind to the back of the bus people)!
5) personally, i'm not a fan of strange kids with dirty hands jumping up onto my legs in public places trying to get my attention (i'm sure most people don't) ...so guess what, most people don't enjoy it when dogs do the same thing. be respectful and keep your fur kids in check. YES, i like dogs, i just don't like waring strange peoples animals home with me! so relax folks...if your offended by this, your probably guilty of it. just telling you what 99% of the population won't.
6) oh god, here we go...tipping (me and my hubby argue about this all the time). i'm all for it, when you do your job WELL! if your not doing your job or are rude, you shouldn't get a tip. it's just that simple.
7) teach your kids how to swim or put them in lessons (i never had that chance as a kid, at least not formally and all i can do is a shitty dog paddle to safety!). it's a life skill that could save their lives or even your "fell off the boat while having to many magic bullet cocktails" self one day!
8) lets all reduce the quantity of adults pigs in the world, teach your children basic chores EARLY in life! If a child can change a barbie outfit, he or she can fold clothing and put that sucker away in the drawer! i know, it won't perfect but does it really need to be!?
9) i personally enjoy being a wee bit "creepy", i recommend you try it! give people sincere, real compliments (friends, strangers or your co workers...who cares who it is, if something strikes you about that person, say it. i might want to add, it should be a nice thing!!!). i've said things to people I barely know and started the conversation with "ok, this may sound a little creepy BUT ....
(the cops have only been called in once, totally kidding!)
10) This ones going to get most of you all fired up. when your at a social gathering, particularly at someones house and you have your phone out and are checking it or using it for anything other than a FUCKING emergency or a song playlist please stop, it's unbelievably irritating and rude.
i know, i get it, you just posted something on fb and you have to check how many likes you have.... i'm a fb whore and like my instagram too but here's the reality, your with humans and at a "social" gathering, not a "virtual social" gathering or a "wifi" gathering!
ok, listen i get it ...take a picture with your friends or take a selfie, check in and then PUT "THAT" thing away and grab a drink because this crazy biotch wants to chat with you not you and your phone. that's all, i miss you, not your phone! so do most people.
good luck and happy 2014!
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