When the magic ends | Klutch Photography | Vancouver family photographer

I remember it like it was yesterday, the first time the Elf on the shelf visited the Stoddard family, It was on Dec 4th, 2011 and after that moment my December has never been the same.

Back in November 2011I also remember when I first heard about the EOTS I was talking to a mom about this elf she bought for her kids and it would move from "shelf" to "shelf" in the night and keep tabs on her kids then report to Santa! The only thing that caught my attention was that it moved at night. Right there, I thought "I have to do this"! The ideas started from that moment on, the only problem was the world (at the time) seemed to be SOLD OUT of this red dressed, plastic white dude with brown hair sealed in a box called for $39.98 called The Elf on the Shelf!

Being a thrifter (a slightly addicted thrifter) I decided I would channel the universe and hopefully something usable would appear while I shopped that I could make my own ETOS.

AND IT DID! 

The 6-inch 70's fairy/elf looking Spanish doll with a foam core body and a wired frame was in a plastic bag marked $0.99. That night I widdled an Elly the elf.

The adventures that were curated from that initial arrival on Dec 4th have been small and sometimes they've been utterly epic! Hours have been spent, lies have been told, shit got broken, messes were made, people were plotting, elves multiplied, kids were angry, mom was pretending angry, deliveries with people who were in on it and dropoffs with people that were in on it and oh so many amazing memories of the spirit of believing have been made.

December 4th, 2011-Elly the elf arrives in our house. Amara was three and Che' was six.

 

My oldest turned 12 this year and we all know she knows but she wanted to never know and I wasn't about to take that away from her! So we have never ever talked about it. You know the Elf thing that is. She wanted her magic to continue and so did I.

This past may she asked if she could look at my Lightroom catalogue with literally 100,00 images in it. I was reading behind her in my office club chair when she bolts out of the room. I naturally thought "this kid needs to pee really bad" and I continued to read. Then I heard it, tears, hard sobbing tears...

OMG, my heart sank as I looked up at my computer screen only to see the images of another Spanish doll being converted into what is now Elly's sister Eve who joined us a few years back. I document everything and that deconstruction/reconstruction was right there on the screen. It was official, I closed the door on her magic, I rung the bell and couldn't unring it.  At that moment I made her magic end, unintentionally of course. She cried so hard that when her younger sister walked into the house to grab a glass of water she asked: "did someone had died"?  And in my mind, I was like "ya only the death of innocence Amara and the magic of Christmas"!  

I lied and said she missed her friends and Amara went back outside to play. I comforted Che' for 10 more minutes before I mentioned that she was now part of a special club!  She was now a member of the magic of Christmas club, she would now be my helper to keep Amara's special magic alive. Still sobbing, shook her head to say yes.

The next few days after that moment occurred she would take me aside and whisper questions to me about certain Elf adventures that were stumping her! OH MAN, that kid had questions, she had SO many questions, at times she looked puzzled and other times she was in AWE of what took place to make the magic happen. 

She is mended now and at peace but sadly I'm not. It has changed for me, now the magic is gone for one of my two girls BUT I will try to find a "different magic" now that the real one has ended... as all things do. We just reinvent our experiences and make new ones. Not better ones per say but new ones! Life is not static and I had a long run, a beautiful long run of real magic. One down, one more to go!

BTW-Che' and I are not talking about Santa. She literally is sticking her fingers in her ears and closing her eyes...I'm fine with that!

Dec 4th, 2017 Amara is nine and Che' is twelve.

Here's just some of there antics over the years!

2017 Their arrival home!

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What did my teen just say? | Klutch Photography | Vancouver family photographer

This came across my Facebook feed today "26 Terms Parents Need To Know -TEEN SLAG Decoded by Netsanity". Let me tell you, I'm getting really fucking old because I did the "What"? and the "OMG"? and the  "SHUTUP" out loud while ready these!  Mostly on the bottom portion but still I think I'm kinda cool and withit...clearly I'm nowhere near that! I'm like back in the 90's cool, maybe at the 2005 year of cool but that's about as far as I go. 

Anyway, folks, I thought I would share this with you because we really need all the help we can get translating these odd creatures called our children! Also, it could be fun to drive the batshit crazy by using their slag daily!

I'm so HUNDO P that I have to SKURT and pick up my FAM before they get SALTY! lol, ha!

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"Nobody puts baby in a corner"| Klutch Photography | Vancouver family Photographer

These past two weeks have been an emotional out of my control rollercoaster.  The anniversary of Sophie's death is approaching and it seems to creep up on you just like Christmas does...quickly and making you feel unprepared for the event. You think you're all good but really YOUR NOT!  You find your self-crying in your car for no other reason than a flood of sadness has overcome you. The annual local windstorms set your emotions on its own tsunami storm of memories, remembering when the power went off four years earlier only to hear about your daughters best friend dying from meningitis days later. 

 This was the platform for my month. Topped with being pushed into an oversized vehicle purchase that I never wanted in the first place but was forced to buy in order to get our boat back into the interior for the summer.  Then having to deal with family issues (not mine) but his and it affects all aspects of my children and husbands happy place.  

I've been truly feeling out of control emotionally, the later two are certainly first world problems really but none the less, this is what I know and it was foreign to me. Being forced to deal when I don't want to deal or manage it or confront it!

I'm done. I wanted my power back, some power, some control.

My hair has been long for 8+ years. It's an attachment problem more then it should be but I think that stems from childhood and my Portuguese upbringing where girls had long hair. I cut it off at 25 and it was such an amazing feeling to say FUCK YOU HAIR and all that you stand for...hertitage expectations, femininity, fitting into the norm. Cutting the hair off at 25 was cleansing to say the least.

Today I called my hairdresser and by the universes grace, she had a cancellation at 3 pm. I took the spot and when I arrived I said: "cut it off". It's time to take control back. No one own's me, no one controls me and to this, I cut my hair off and it feels so good.

 It's fucking hair, It grows back whenever I want but today it stands for me taking back the emotions I can't control, today cutting my hair is me saying FUCK YOU ALL. I may not be able to control outcomes but I can control how I look and feel. I own me. I will always own ME!

This is one small step to making sure that  "nobody puts baby in a corner", EVER.  Lol, I love that line from dirty dancing!  I'm in love with my hair cut and it may last or it may not. Either way, I win today and that is all that matters.

Check out Bonnie at Crush Hair Co., She's been my hairdresser since 2005!  

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