"50 shades of WTF" {warning}

Yeah, yeah i know... i clearly had to much time on my hands while i was away this summer!  my excuse for reading 50 shades of grey,  i was curious, perhaps some blog research ...oh and  we are going to read it for book club anyways! (ps...thanks lyndsay for lending them to me) regardless of the reason...the "nasty has been done" and I have read the first (and second) in the series on the "kinky" pop culture craze!  so without further ado here is my thoughts....eek!

first off,

reading this book in front of others is like watching porn on a dvd player on your lap! AWKWARD! personally, i would retreat to a quiet space...lol.  (as a fellow cabin neighbor said "this book was great for my alone time")


i'm very pleased that this book is not geared towards the male population...seriously, their "inner caveman" would be expecting a lot of riDICKulous sexual practices from us ladies!  good god the last thing you would need is your man picking red paint for your bedroom and investing in riding crops amongst other things!


your 21 and a virgin? (talk amongst yourselves on that BS)...oh and she's HOT...not likely people (insert me shaking my head).  BUT you become a newton street walker overnight, you "sing the high note" every time you get it on, oh and you want it every five minutes!? come now! (pardon the pun!)


you have a "connection" big deal (don't we all, the first time we meet someone we want to get it on with?), all i know is i would have gone portuguese on his a** the moment his "twitchy hand" went into the upward position!


i write like a**, i'm aware of it, i point it out and i make spelling and grammar mistakes an art form of disgrace!  even i could tell the writing in this book sucked.  why?  it appears the writer could not find phrases, sentences or words to replace these gems that were used OVER AND OVER and over in the book...



"man he's possessive"

"my subconscious...bla bla bla""

"I flushed crimson"


"oh my"

"I flushed scarlet"


"did you role your eye's at me"

i think i will google and see if anyone is crazy enough to go through the book and count the amount of times these phrases and words have been repeated, hold on ...

tadaa... I found a tweet with some!!


and of course there is an obscene amount of wild sex, not your good old fashion "vanilla kind" as they put it (good god i'm old, i had no clue what that meant!)!  you could literally play a sex game with the book by blindfolding your partner and picking a page because i will almost guarantee there is some kind of sex happening.

i was thinking of writing my own version of erotic literature for the suburban mom, it would look and sound like this...(warning ladies you might get excited reading this)

" he was bathing the kids with out being asked, i flushed scarlet"

"watching him wash the dish's made my inner goddess do cartwheels"

"he asked if  i wanted to go on a girls weekend and my panties fell right off"

now that's a novel i could relate to or at least dream about...lol!

so folks go for it, get some brown wrap, cover that smut up and enjoy it...if for nothing else it's makes for some fun conversations and laughter! I also heard there will be a baby boom in 2013 from this hot novel...bou, chicka bou bou !!!